Top Ten Dirtiest, Sexiest, Oh My God Movies that are not Porn

August 30, 2007 at 7:55 am 61 comments

So Last night, unable to sleep because Ghost Hunters scared me (I am a scarity beaver)  I was flicking around the TV looking for something to take my mind off of ghosts….and boy did I ever….which led to me deciding on this post….

This is my top ten, and I know I will miss some big ones, good ones and hopefully some “Oh My God” ones….so I am counting on you to  help me out….

10) 9 and a half weeks

9) Last Tango in Paris

8) The Secretary

7) Wild Orchid

6) Red Shoe Diaries

5) Lolita

4) I Spit Upon Your Grave

3) Boogy Nights

2) Blue Velvet

1) Crash

I picked my movie list based on what I have actually seen and how disturbing it was.  They are in no particular order….but “crash” was unusually fucked up so it got the number one spot.  An excellent website to officialy screw with your head is http://www.filmsite.org/controversialfilms7.html

I could go into why I picked which movies…but all of them on some level left me red in the face and filled with some amount of shame or disgust.  I saw many of these films when I was quite young……..So  lets hear your top tens….

Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: .

Rage Against the Machine, or the Toaster, or whatever is pissing you off It’s Friday, I’m RE RE, Open Thread for Your Head.

61 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Gary  |  August 30, 2007 at 9:01 am

    I’m assuming you mean the “Crash” about people who get turned on by being in car accidents, not the newer one about racism.

    When I was young the hottest movie ever was Dressed To Kill.

    Speaking of Blue Velvet (and David Lynch)z, I really loved Wild At Heart at the time. Lauren Dern was really hot in that and it was quite weird and disturbing. A sort of bizarro Wizard of Oz with fucking. Also Mulholland Dr. had some very nice lesbian scenes. Very bizarre movie.

    Someone should mention Requiem Of A Dream and Irréversible for the unpleasant and disturbing list. Sexual content but definitely not sexy, for most people anyway.

    Reply
  • 2. dani  |  August 30, 2007 at 9:05 am

    i thought she meant the racism “crash” too. disappointing sex scene in “taking lives” – ethan hawke and angelina – besides actual close up it was fairly explicit. very disappointed in angie’s boobs. meh. not impressed. sadly.

    Reply
  • 3. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 9:31 am

    I almost added Requiem of a Dream just because it was so fucked up. Almost added Clockwork Orange too…And yeah, I Meant the “crash” movie where the car crashing people fuck after they wreck….something notable here is that James Spader made my list twice..hmmmmm maybe I should have added Sex Lies and Videotape eh? its wasnt exactly explicit…but it was perverse…Wild at heart was crazy and was also very disturbing. i enjoyed it though.

    Never saw Dressed to Kill….will have to investigate that….

    Reply
  • 4. Heya  |  August 30, 2007 at 9:45 am

    James Spader = Aieeeeee! Spank me, James Spader, spank me!

    I woke from a dream this morning that I was swimming in the Caribbean with Anderson Cooper. And then it turned into Paris and I think he dumped me for our waiter, but whatever, Coops. Whatever.

    The point here is that I’m pretty sure I told you that Cinemax was no good. But did you hear my warnings? Noooooooooooo.

    Reply
  • 5. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 9:49 am

    And I’ve got to add “Body Heat” to this list. First, because I’m an old lady. And second, because Uh Mah Gawd, William Hurt. You dirty, sweaty man! Homina homina.

    Reply
  • 6. dani  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:00 am

    coops – that’s funny – ya get that vanderbilt cash….

    Reply
  • 7. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:06 am

    Our lifestyle is very expensive, Dani.

    Reply
  • 8. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:09 am

    Oh shoot I forgot about body heat! Did any of you click the link i posted? do it…it will make you feel insane in the membrane!

    coops and heather….watch out…nips is sure to see this and try ot eliminate you

    Reply
  • 9. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:10 am

    you know i have to say…yesterday i did a lame post on rage or there lack of…=kigillion comments..

    today i do a sure fire popular post of dirty content. and i get crickets. guess me and Matt L are the only dirties in the bunch

    Reply
  • 10. Nips  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:16 am

    Anderson and I were busy making love. We don’t have time for movies………..

    Reply
  • 11. dani  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:17 am

    uh hellooooooooooooo – just call me dirty dani – or dd – double meaning…muhahahahaha – i’m just exhausted. i think the moon has something to do with it….

    Reply
  • 12. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:18 am

    OHHHHH FIGHT FIGHT!!!

    Reply
  • 13. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:18 am

    coops is a two timer…we can spin this into a lifetime movie for sure!!

    Reply
  • 14. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:20 am

    Coops is a straight-up dog. I cannot believe this.

    Reply
  • 15. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:21 am

    Oh. But I guess you call him “Anderson.”

    Reply
  • 16. keyser soze  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:21 am

    lets not forget Caligula, Body of eveidence,Basic Instinct,Body double . By the way I have over 87 confirmed viewings of Blue velvet and probably about 50+ of A Clockwork Orange

    Reply
  • 17. Nips  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:21 am

    He worships every inch of my body. The other women are just practice. I still have Hines Ward, Mike Piazza, Chase Buttley, John Cusack, Vince Vaughn, Eric Claption and a couple other men hanging around me. I’m not sweating it.

    Reply
  • 18. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:22 am

    Oh, really? That’s not what John Cusack said last night.

    Reply
  • 19. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:22 am

    lol…so i just emailed Matt…who i foolishly thought would be all over this particular post since he is in the book of records for the amount of porn owned and the knowledge of all things dirty…but no he has snubbed me. he is prolly making out with anderson or coops or whatever…

    Reply
  • 20. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:24 am

    I’m sure we can reach some kind of agreement, Nippy McNipperson. For me, Coops is usually working in tandem with Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell. Sometimes Jon Stewart watches. Aside from being totally hott, it is also very funny.

    Reply
  • 21. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:24 am

    somehow…i knew this post would draw out the keyser…

    Reply
  • 22. Nips  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:24 am

    I have been single for toooooo long. All movies turn me on. Heather if you know what’s good for you, you’ll back the fuck off. I am hormonal and frustrated. John told me he was his mother last night. Where have all the good men gone?

    Reply
  • 23. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:26 am

    “John told me he was his mother last night.”

    Ha ha ha ha. Nice.

    Reply
  • 24. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:27 am

    John was his mother?? wahhh?? Oh just share the men ladeis they are just fuck tools anyhow…why else would you keep them around?? for company? ha right. 87 vewings eh?? ok then dirty keyser….give us some direct movie quotes…and then spank sissy like the bad secertary she is…

    Reply
  • 25. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:27 am

    Clearly, the two of you have something that he and I can never hope to share. I had no idea.

    Reply
  • 26. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:28 am

    Caligula? what is caligula?

    Reply
  • 27. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:30 am

    forget it…wikapedia just told me…”actual penetration” on screen. yikes.

    Reply
  • 28. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:37 am

    I first read Nips’ comment that as “John told me I was his mother last night.” As in like, “Who’s your daddy?” But “Who’s your mama?” And I thought, “Well, now, that is pretty deep right there.”

    Reply
  • 29. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 10:46 am

    I still dont know what she meant. buncha sick fucks is what they are..heheheehh

    Reply
  • 30. keyser soze  |  August 30, 2007 at 11:36 am

    heinken heiniken fuck that shit pabst blue ribbon.

    you fuckers fuck

    raymond thank you raymond

    daddy wants to fuck

    Reply
  • 31. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 11:42 am

    All I can hear in my head now is Jim Morrison. “Father?” “Yes, son.” “I want to kill yew.”

    Reply
  • 32. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 11:50 am

    thank you very much keyser….that was lovely…

    and heather, i dont know why but that made me laugh. very hard.

    and for those of youse who dont know…..today is party day pixzza day at the death star where i work…nips got snubbed fromt he party, Todd has the mans taint on his face and KooKOO is on the phones. its just me and pee pee dani. for explanation, see togaparty.wordpress.com

    Reply
  • 33. dani  |  August 30, 2007 at 11:52 am

    do not call me pee pee dani. not nice. tooter hooter.

    Reply
  • 34. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 11:54 am

    I am CLEARLY a whohaa pooter farter. if only that once. i am branded. ill just call you boobies magee

    Reply
  • 35. dani  |  August 30, 2007 at 11:58 am

    IT’S HOOTY MCBOOB!

    Reply
  • 36. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    Tooter hooter. Ha ha ha ha. Dude, when you say “pee-pee fart” do you mean “queef”? Because that’s what I know them as: “queefs.” “Why are we having this conversation?” you may be asking yourself. Well, because I’m a medical doctor.

    Reply
  • 37. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 12:11 pm

    Man. This thread started out full of promise, too. LOOK AT WHAT WE’VE DONE!

    Reply
  • 38. capricorn1966  |  August 30, 2007 at 12:13 pm

    any movie i watch with sex in it doesn’t have a title.

    Reply
  • 39. capricorn1966  |  August 30, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    the notebook is my all time favorite love story.

    Reply
  • 40. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 12:30 pm

    “Why are we having this conversation?” you may be asking yourself. Well, because I’m a medical doctor

    thart made me do a big loud fat lady laugh. thats right…

    yeah i was with a big dick dude, got some ait uppa there and post sex walked to bathroom and with every step a shooter flew out my delicate pee pee. it was bad. and when i finially got to the toilet, i figured it was over…OH HELL NO when i sat down it was like KABOOM!

    I stick with tiny penis’s now

    Reply
  • 41. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 12:31 pm

    any movie i watch with sex in it doesn’t have a title.

    how can this be?? home movies?? explain

    Reply
  • 42. capricorn1966  |  August 30, 2007 at 12:40 pm

    meaning, who cares what it is called, i just watch the sex and move on.

    I don’t watch much movies, the first thing that comes to mind is the sex scene on Lost, with kate and Sawyer when they were locked in the cage. that was yummy.

    Reply
  • 43. Matt Lesoine  |  August 30, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    Okay fine, I’ll list some of my favorites of the adult film genre:

    Witches of Breastwick
    Gob Swappers II
    Milf Street Blues
    Chunky Band Camp
    Three Girls and a Guy (the Best of FFFM)
    The Creasemaster
    Bukake 4: Milkshake
    All You Can Eat II
    A Family Affair
    Sorority Sleepover II
    Sports Bras Half Off
    Enough Cum for 2
    Where the Boys Aren’t

    That’s all I can think of off of the top of my head. I’ll have to procure my stash and see what else is good. I know there’s like 200+ movies, so it’s hard to remember them all…

    Reply
  • 44. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! Yayyy for Matt!!!

    Reply
  • 45. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 12:51 pm

    Chunky Band Camp
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    Reply
  • 46. dani  |  August 30, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    is anyone else offended by tv guide channel having listings of and lil synoposis of porns? oh, here’s a list of movies on at 8:00….ooooh dirty hor asian housewives 42, and airbud…… – grrrrr.

    Reply
  • 47. Matt Lesoine  |  August 30, 2007 at 1:04 pm

    I think that the synopsis is helpful in avoiding movies that probably won’t do the trick.

    Reply
  • 48. capricorn1966  |  August 30, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    Dani, nothing surprises me these days. and no offense here

    Reply
  • 49. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    ooooh dirty hor asian housewives 42, and airbud…… – grrrrr.

    actually i found that pretty funny…i did not know that stuff was advertized

    Reply
  • 50. dani  |  August 30, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    i guess not really. but good lord. still think it’s wrong.

    Reply
  • 51. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    still snickering over that….i am watching the tv guide channel tonight just for that purpose…i havent seen dirty asian housewives in a while

    Reply
  • 52. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    I am listening to a book on cd now, very cheesey called “a man to call my own” and this dude is in a saloon and there is a hooker trying to get with him and her name? “Hairy Sue” i bet she is very popular lol

    Reply
  • 53. Matt Lesoine  |  August 30, 2007 at 1:18 pm

    Oh I just remembered a few more:
    Swallow Every Drop
    Dirty 30’s Cum Whores
    Goo Girls
    Chunky Cheerleaders
    Chunky on the 4th of July (Good spoof of born on 4th of July)
    Milfs in Heat
    Dong Day Afternoon
    Let’s Party!
    Good Daughters (mafia themed porn with Ron Jeremy as the Godfather)

    Reply
  • 54. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 1:24 pm

    ron jeremy classic

    Reply
  • 55. Heather  |  August 30, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    I’m sensing a “Chunky” theme.

    Reply
  • 56. sopmax12  |  August 30, 2007 at 2:21 pm

    Matt appreciates my chunk. what can i say

    Reply
  • 57. Sissy  |  September 1, 2007 at 6:55 pm

    You forgot “The Lover.”

    Reply
  • 58. spanky  |  September 4, 2007 at 9:39 am

    wait…who is in “the lover”

    Reply
  • 59. Sadra  |  March 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    “This Girl’s Life” is a must to my taste.

    Reply
  • 60. Sadra  |  March 10, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    this girl’s life, buddies, go watch it!

    Reply
  • 61. allenevelus  |  November 3, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    NOBODY added Barbarella to this list? Poor form. Watch it! You will thank me after wondering where it';s been all your life.

    Reply

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